Although I have always considered creativity to be rooted in my life, I’ve admittedly been finding it more and more difficult to occasionally find those bursts of passion and make time to feed the things that don’t considerably serve my “productivity”. It’s a conflict that I’m sure many of you my age are also experiencing in our prematurity. With the chaos of life’s current, we’ve prioritised the things that keep us afloat but have forgotten to enjoy and swim the way that we used to... arms out, head under water, a breath of fresh air accompanied with a surge of unwarranted laughter - pure unorganised bliss. With scheduling, school, socialising and savings all on the horizon - it feels almost impossible to even think about putting time aside for ourselves, let alone nourish it. I familiarly find myself at the end of another busy week of attending to my job, studies, friends and family with no energy to create and indulge in open time. Somewhere along the way we were taught that indulgence is a luxury, not a necessity in life but when did we learn this? and who taught it to us?.. other “adults”?
I’m certainly not the most careless person. Admittedly, I do make a conscious effort to stay busy and focused; prioritising what I like to call “the wheel of a successful life” - school, work, relationships, health, money. I commonly determine my success based on how each component of this wheel keeps it turning, but truthfully, I know that living this way will never fulfil the necessities of life itself - love, passion, connection, art and peace. I tend to hesitate stepping out of safety, following my hunger and diving head first into an effervescent wave of unknowingness. I simply can’t afford to risk it. I’m an adult now.
Although I can admit that I’m susceptible to living some mindless days, I’ve come to recognise which of the things I do that indicate when I’m feeling disconnected and immediately make a conscious effort to find my feet back on the ground. These things are:
I prefer to get ahead of studying and work than indulge in creative or free time
I don't feel like listening to music and prefer to listen to podcasts instead
I don’t feel like journalling or I can’t think on what to write about
I have a desire to stay inside and “catch up” on lost time (which usually involves me scrolling on my phone or watching Netflix)
I wake up exhausted and find myself tired throughout the day
Start using my "busy schedule" as an excuse to turn down invitations or see people
Detachment feeds distraction and distraction feeds detachment.
It’s funny to think that many of us spent our childhood years uncommitted to duties, deadlines and obligations yet we somehow found ways to utilise every moment of our “free” time. The truth of the matter is that there is no such thing as free time - it is always there for us to use.
Sure, we have responsibilities we all need to commit to but when we stop assimilating our passions and hobbies into our scheduled lives, we start taking time for granted all together.
I urge you to make space for yourself again. To embrace those moments of stillness and start 'playing'... Arms out, eyes open and head out of water. You can work while your feet are still on the ground; because ultimately, what is the point of achieving eventual success if you're not there to see it?
Image: @mateatme